Friends, Family and Fur: People Need People.

Brain cancer is...

 ...drinking in the presence of our people!

Thanks, Friends, for beginning to share with us the ways you're coping now, and what you've learned about coping now from hard times in the past.  We're building up the list.  Lots of clear themes.  Keep your strategies coming!

As we prepare the Team D list, we'll keep talking about...us.  ("Enough about you."  Ha ha.) We'd like to share some things we learned from coping with GBM that are helping us cope now.  Probably these are things you already know; you've been telling us similar things.  We'll include a link to a past post that illustrates our point. Today is Darrell and Andi's Lesson #1.

Lesson Number One:  We need people:  One thing we learned through Darrell's diagnosis is the importance of our people.  We learned that people were our safety net for all the times we were slipping on that brain cancer high wire.  People were then--and continue to be--always there for us.  A post from March 2016 ("Can you see the wave?" here) illustrates just how much we needed you, and there you were.  Just like now.  Just like we need to be there for you and for each other.

Above you see that we were fortunate to have a six-foot front patio party with Gail and Melanie today. 

We also had the privilege of being the presence of our peeps--family and friends--with a walk, a phone call, and a Zoom session.  We drank in every second with family and friends.

Thanks, too, Gail, and Melanie, for bringing our fur people friends, Sunny and Tessa.  We miss dogs, and we can no longer get our dog fill by asking people on walks if we may say hello to their dogs.  Frankly, it's startling how fast that question became taboo!

Speaking of fur, here's the 2016 post that welcomed Mousse to the family.  Good thing he hasn't charged us for the therapy he has provided over the years! And check out Darrell and Beowulf grinning in each other's company in this post.

So that's Darrell and Andi's Lesson #1:  We need friends, family, and fur.  And by "we" we mean "we all."  People need people. 

Today's Bloom

Backyard Butterfly Iris Greets the Morning Sun

Square Inch of Silver Lining 

We're still using the gift of time on our long list of projects.  We continued the Yard Work Deep Clean Project today with the Bird of Paradise declutter.

Andi's Pile

Darrell the Engineer's Pile

What Are You Bringing to Bear? Your Top Coping Strategies Please

Brain cancer is...

 ...wondering how (not whether) you're coping.

Speaking of learning...

Today's breakfast conversation was about what the trauma of a GBM diagnosis and its aftermath has taught us about adversity in life.  We wondered, how does what we learn from Darrell's brain cancer experience apply to how we respond to today's worldwide pandemic?
 
Of course the pandemic is much different than a single family dealing with a "terminal" diagnosis, but Darrell has experienced the feeling of waking up one morning in Life 1.0 (the expected) and the next day waking up in a completely different world (Life 2.0).  

And most people (you!) have experienced trauma. The good news is that the majority of people who experience trauma learn from it and feel like better people as a result.  (We wrote about Post- Traumatic Growth in this 2017 post.)

Thus we made our Top Five list of things we learned through our GBM journey that are helping us cope with the novel corona virus crisis.  We're wondering what's on your list of coping strategies:  How have the hard times you've faced in the past equipped you to address today's tough situation?

Would you share with us, please, so we can compare lists and be stronger together?  You can comment on this post below (but apparently not from a mobile device), email, or text us. We won't mention your name if you prefer not.

You know us, we have plenty to say on any topic (ha ha!), so we're ready to share our experience through the GBM lens in a series of upcoming posts.  Hearing about your experiences would enrich our own perspectives for sure.

Physically (but not Socially) Distant Monday Hugs!

Today's Blooms

Backyard Bird of Paradise

A Flock of Birds of Paradise

Square Inch of Silver Lining

Ginger is combining her art expertise and her love of scripture to create pieces for and with her physically distant friends.

 

"Adjusting Well"

Brain cancer is...

 ...learning.

This morning, the gift of time brought us a leisurely conversation about...the nature of human nature.  (Given time, we discuss such topics.)  We decided that central to our core convictions about humans is that they have the innate, inescapable drive to learn and change. 

Our examples centered on our observations of human learning in the past couple weeks.  One example: People have learned to stay six feet from others on walks.  And they've learned that a smile and "hello" both travel a distance of six feet. 

As another example of human learning, above you see Darrell not sitting and enjoying the view from a bench.   Long-time readers know that Darrell loves a good couple of minutes of enjoying the view on a bench.  (Here's one example, and here's another; two of dozens of bench posts, we're sure.)  If someone who loves a bench as much Darrell does can learn not to sit on one, for potential safety's sake, what can't we do, human race?

We were thinking serious thoughts about the importance of learning until Suzie and Gary texted, and we saw the humorous side of human learning and adjustment too. In Suzie's words, they're "adjusting well."  Here they are, Gigi and Grandpa at their grandson's first birthday:

 Adjusting well?  Learning and changing?  We'd say so! Let's keep it up, Friends!

Today's Bloom

Square Inches of Silver Lining: Refreshing Views

Our View from Our Neighborhood Walk in Raymond Hills

Kristine's View from her Chino Hills Hike

Darrell Throws a Patios Party

Brain cancer is...

 ...hosting Happy Hour out back.

You all inspired Darrell with your clever uses of online communications, particularly Zoom.  You're attending services, having family game nights, doing art sessions, and hanging out with friends.

Tonight Darrell followed your Zoom lead and hosted Happy Hour with the Szabos: A patios party, theirs and ours.

Happy Saturday, Team D., and keep those great ideas coming.

The Skunk Wars Project

Dear Skunks,
You can stop digging now.  The Predator Pee arrived.
--Darrell

 Today’s Bloom

From Christine’s run

The Silver Lining Project

Brain cancer is...

 ...prone to projects.

We like projects.  Especially now, apparently.  Above you see the Cupboard Cleaning Project.  We also are in the midst of a number of projects to include the Bird Journal Project, the Toilet Seat Project, the Email Reduction Project, the Earring Project, the Skunk War Project, the Nova Scrapbook Project, the Map Wall Project, the Deep Yard Work Project, and the Watch Outlander Project.

Today we take a break from our regularly scheduled projects for this breaking news project:  The Silver Lining Project.  In the Silver Lining Project, we explicitly list the tiny square inches of silver lining that we notice in the midst of life during the pandemic.

(Side note:  We also have lists called "Things We Miss" and "Deep Concerns," but those lists don't need attention from us; they seem to sustain themselves, unfortunately.  The Silver Lining Project is to keep those other lists from taking over our souls.)

Here is our inaugural listing of shiny square inches of silver lining, many of which you've contributed to already:

• We see our neighbors out now more than ever, waving and smiling as they play ball and walk their dogs.
• We have stopped complaining about strength training.  Our home gym looks pretty great when we hear all the troubles that you gym rats are having in finding alternate equipment.  Lesson learned.
• Christine points out that many people seem to be focusing more on fitness now that they have more flexible schedules.  We as a nation just may come out of this mess healthier.  Speaking of that...
• At our house, nearly every meal is a healthy meal now that we can't go out daily.  Check out the salads Darrell makes.  Talk about eating a rainbow!

• Because we're primarily walking in the neighborhood now, we're getting good landscaping ideas.  And we're seeing a wider range of colors than we see at the park.

• Chris points out that there is a new breed of creative internet humor arising from the situation.  Thanks for sending us things that make us laugh out loud!
• I'm saving lots of money not putting on make up or putting product in my hair.  
• We wear quitters (comfy clothes) every day.
• Bees are still working hard, and we have time to watch them work hard.

• We're meeting new and positive people.  Kristine invited me to meet Block 8 and do art together on Zoom.  They lifted my heart and made me look forward to fall semester.

• We're hanging out with faraway friends when we might not otherwise make the time.  The Colorado Grays and California Guillaumes got together today:

• We have more time to enjoy the Deep Yard Work Project.

• We connect more regularly with important people in our lives, using a greater variety of tech tools.
• We have time to branch out to watch more than Law and Order or Forensic Files in the evenings, which translates into that highly important square of silver lining:  more time for hand holding.

Friday. You made it, Team D.  Thank you for being in it together with us.

Today's Bloom

Backyard Monster:  Morning Glory.  Silver Lining:  Lovely

Doing for Others

Brain cancer is...

 ...helping others.

Colorado, where our kids Zach and Summer live, just went on "Stay Home" status today.  Above you see Darrell helping them out:  He sent them some meat. (Somewhat predictably, yes?)

There is something so great about helping other people when we are feeling the limits of our power, isn't there?  Doing for others feels to us like a way to take some sort of action--to do something good!--when so much seems beyond our control.   These days, we look for new ways to help others.

Today Colin, our friend, Team D member, and brother of GJ (here's our post of GJ's passing, as a reminder) wrote us with a great and timely idea for helping others.

Colin knows we love our one-click shopping.  Today he reminded us of a simple way that one-clickers can help others...while staying home and without spending additional money:  AmazonSmile. When we shop through AmazonSmile, Amazon donates 0.5% of the purchase price of eligible items to our designated charity. 

For the new smilers:  Go to smile.amazon.com and login to your Amazon account.  Then choose your charity.  When you shop, login through smile.amazon to earn for your charity.

In case you're already a smiler (as we are), you can also update your charity.  Example:  Long ago, we chose the Nature Conservancy for our charity.  The Conservancy is indeed a worthy cause.
In light of the skunk wars, though, it seems fitting that we might want to update our charity.  To do so, we'd login to our AmazonSmile account, click on "your account," and choose "change your Amazon Smile charity."  The screen looks like this:

 

Then we can search for a new choice.  One idea:  StacheStrong, the foundation that Colin and his family created to raise money for research to eradicate GBM.

Thanks, Colin, for the perfectly timed tip!  And thanks to you, your family, and the foundation for all you do to help others.

Today the cow pillow arrived.

It's clearly a win/win situation:  We are smiling about our terrific pillow and at about fact that we did a little good today. 

Today's Blooms

Roene's Chinese orchid, in Alabama.  Yes, it's a relative of our orchid.

Meridyth's almost-blooming tree (foreground) in the Great Smoky Mountains last week  (We're pointing out the bloom in case we have literal team members in the crowd.)

It's Us Against the Yard!

Brain cancer is...

 ...distraught.

Dear Skunks,
I wish I could say I was happy that you enjoyed our new skunk repellent, Critter Ridder.  I wish I could, but I can't.  I am not happy at all with the holes you left last night.  We hope you got all the grubs you needed, because today we one-click shopped some more Predator Pee.  Head on out now.
--Darrell

With shorter to-do lists, we're spending more time on each item.  For example, sleeping late.  Just to be fully honest, we didn't sleep for 11 hours the other night because we get up several times during the night, but we did in fact spend 11 hours in bed before rising.  Because why not?  It'll be a record that's tough to beat.

We also are doubling our deep yard work time.  At two hours, though, we ran out of yard waste bin space today.  Our backyard is producing biomass (plant matter in this case) at an alarming rate.  It's us against the yard!  (...once our bins are empty again, that is.)

Today we also studied more about the benefits of Prime, one-click shopping aside, and set up a movie screening room in family room.  Pizza and Mission and Impossible (for free!), and we'll call it a day. 

Elsewhere, in larger spaces, Meridyth and her dogs practiced physical distancing at Wisconsin's Kettle Moraine.

Those dogs are highly skilled, Meridyth.  We can't even see them.  That's gotta be more than six feet!

Today's Blooms

Chris's front yard, ruffle-edged azaleas

Kristine's "Wisteria Wonder" at her local park

 
 

Communal Cooking and What Not

Brain cancer is...

...one of a group of contributors to tonight’s delicious meal.

Roene gave us the idea: Slice up the remaining mini loafs, fry for crispiness, throw them on toast, and...improvise.  We used onions from the Mayfields and avocados from Gail and Melanie. The result?

Meatloaf sandwich, California Cuisine style:  Spring mix, avocado, and Kalamata olives.  So good.  Why didn't Darrell make more minis?

What Not 

Another day in California's staycation down.  Another great day to appreciate.  Here are some moments and what not that we appreciated.

• According to the sleep monitor on my Fit Bit, we rested almost 11 hours last night.  We are building a new sleep skill set!

• Teacher Linda provided good modeling for her elementary students--who are at home of course--by reading with her furry friends.  Can't help but guess that her Labrador Kela picked the books!

Thanks for teachers everywhere, Linda, whose skills are rising even higher in esteem by families who are now needing to do at home with just a few kids what teachers do every day with dozens of children:  Help them learn with love and laughter daily.

•  Christine's feet had their first tour of the top of the Brea Dam.

• Nova showed that she can rock yet another head fashion, a knit hat.

Nova's parents, both MDs, are back to work this week.

We thank them and every health care worker in our family and friend set (so many!) and across the nation as they meet our medical crisis head on.  We know we speak for us all, Team D, when we say, "Medical professionals: We thank you, we appreciate you, and we lift you up with healthy thoughts."

Today's Bloom

Backyard Chinese Ground Orchids

Meet...Loaf!

Brain cancer is...

...returning to a comfort food.

The family loves it when Darrell cooks his famous meatloaf.  Every person gets a mini loaf so everyone gets crispy edges.  He hasn't made it in a while, and times seem to call for it today. 

Our "social cohort" is only two these days.  What to do with the other mini loaves?

Today's bloom:

Backyard Hibiscus

What did you have time for today, friends?

Brain cancer is...

 ....taking time for deep yard work.

Dear Skunks, 
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
--Darrell

Can you see the brown spots in Darrell's lawn, above?  They are holes made by largish critters.  Skunks we think.  Maybe opossums.  The Predator Pee really worked to keep them away, but we're out.  So you see Darrell is trying a new solution.  Stay tuned.

One thing that Darrell continues to teach me, post diagnosis, is to treat every day like a gift, a present to unwrap when we wake up each day.  It impresses me that those words, "treat every day like a gift," aren't just a trite saying for him, and that he's still living them in Year Five.

So today what we learned from our  Home Stay is that we have (is it possible?) more of the gift of time.  Today we set the timer for 60 minutes, and we each did our own exploratory yard work.  Not our typical mowing, edging, and weeding, but deep, deep yard work.  For instance, I spent my 60 minutes yanking out dead strands from one butterfly iris bush.  

What we found out from those 60 minutes is...we need 60 more minutes!  Good thing our Monday schedule is relatively open.

What did you have time for today, Team D?

Today's Bloom

Calla lilies at the Welshons

Slowing it Down on Saturday

Brain cancer is...

 

...slowing things down.

A decade ago, on our first trip to the Caribbean, people warned us that it would take a while to decelerate from city pace to "island time," which moves more slowly.  They were right. On our first day, we had done everything offered at our resort...twice...by dinner time.  It took us until Day Three to get the hang of slowing down..

We decided today to adjust a little more quickly to the mandated home stay.  We're going to start making our to do lists shorter and hold still a little more.

Above Darrell made a delicious leisurely al fresco breakfast:  lox and bagels on the patio.  (The oranges are so good, Hallie! Thanks.) And by 4 pm, we had a fire in the fireplace and our episode of the Outlander ready to go. 

If we can slow down this far on Saturday, just imagine our snail like pace for Sunday!

Here are some smile inducers for us today. 

•  We slept in until 9 am.  Wow.

• Our marine toilet paper came (lower right).  It's almost as adorable as Darrell's foraged Charmin and four times the price.  Precious!  We'll save it for when you come over, or we can drop it off if you need it.

• We completed the 2020 census.  First, the census is a cool thing.  Second, Darrell said, "I didn't know I'd be here to be counted this time."

• The skies continue to be lovely.

• The hummingbirds returned to our backyard.

• Getting takeout is currently considered a safe practice, so we drove through Del Taco. Darrell got his taco skills back!

• People found ways to get outside responsibly and enjoy. Curt and Barb's granddaughter Annabelle was the nature boss.

• Some article online today got it right, in our opinion:  We should stop calling it "social distancing" and start calling it "physical distancing."  We need less social distance right now, not more. 

What made you smile today, Team D?

Here are today's blooms: