Wednesday, May 3, 2017

No Word Yet on MRI

Brain cancer is...

...forever learning.

The newest lesson is just because we want the MRI results and we've always gotten the MRI results, it doesn't mean we will get them this time.

The results don't change anything, so no matter what we'll be okay.

We see Dr. Park tomorrow morning, so at least we'll have the results by then.  If we get the results tonight, we will update this post.

We are sorry to have left the whole team hanging!

Lesson learned.




Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Still Waiting for MRI Results

Brain cancer is...

...practicing patience.

The radiologist hasn't released results of today's scan yet.  Sigh.  We waited until 7 pm our time to post, hoping for last-minute word from the radiologist, but it was not to be.

Thank you so much for your yoga poses, calming thoughts, positive emoticons, flower analogies, prayers, and good wishes.  I can't imagine doing this without knowledge of how many people are standing with us (in the words of Kim N.). We hope no one does it alone.

After a bit of a sleepless night, Darrell did well today, and everything proceeded exactly according to schedule. 

Above you see Darrell, MRI disc in left hand, IV bandaging on left arm, head Optuneless, and torso backpack free, skedaddling home.  Yes, we put the disc into our computer and looked at the images, but our training in the field of brain imaging remains a bit lacking.

We plan to post tomorrow as soon as we get the news. 

Again, thank you for embracing us with your hearts and spirits.   The next time you have an MRI or some other anxiety producing procedure, you tell us, and we'll return the love.  A promise. 

Monday, May 1, 2017

97%

Brain cancer is...

...having nowhere to hide.

Darrell had an Optune data download today.  He maintains his incredibly high compliance rating:  97%.  GBM: You can run, but you can't hide.

Tomorrow morning is Darrell's next MRI.  Therefore, today is scanxiety day.  If you have any spare calming thoughts, please send them this way.

We wish you a pleasant Monday.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Post Traumatic Growth?


Brain cancer is...

...thinking about growth.

You may recall that much of Zachary's scholarly work focuses on combat-induced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) throughout history.  Fortunately, true PTSD is a relatively rare phenomenon.

The other night I had the privilege of working with Zach to edit his latest work.  His work built an argument that Basil II (A Byzantine Emperor with the cheery nickname, "Basil the Bulgar Slayer") experienced PTSD after a horrific ambush and then rose above the trauma to function more effectively than before the trauma.  Zachary argued, using historical sources, that Basil experienced Post Traumatic Growth (PTG).

As I read Zach's paper, I had that striking sensation that his words were describing me and my experience following Darrell's diagnosis.  Darrell confirms that he feels the same way.  Here's what Zach's paper captured for us regarding our PTG experience:

  • Personal development, including recognition both of new strengths and of one's limitations.
  • Relationship growth, including value placed on family and friends and increased reliance on support networks (that's you!).
  • Shifts in philosophy of life, including a reevaluation of what is important in life (Life 2.0).
As I read, and as Darrell and I talked, we were really struck by how true these experiences run for us.  Someone has a name for it!  We aren't alone!

In fact, growth after trauma of any sort is, fortunately, a much more common human experience than is PTSD.  I read of a study that said most people (90%) who experience trauma also experience at least one of the components, above, of growth.  (Side note:  Trauma is bad.  We would prefer Life 1.0 to Life 2.0, but we don't get to pick.  PTG suggests that from loss there can be gain.)

The hallmark of Post Traumatic Growth is not resilience--or returning to the prior level of functioning--it's creating a higher level of functioning, with the apparent benefit being an increased ability to face future stressors.

A difficulty in studying PTG is that it's very hard to measure actual growth.  To do so, one would need to measure current functioning, expose a person to trauma, and then measure functioning again. Not ethical.  Instead, researchers usually rely on self perceptions of growth. For instance, the psychologist of this post posits that holding the position "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" is a coping mechanism we use to protect ourselves from the possibility that we have been harmed by trauma.

So you can see why we're thinking about growth.  Thinking and thinking.  We've decided that whether our growth is real or merely perceived, it's a better choice than the alternative.  Why would we want to live life any other way?



PS...Aren't you glad we didn't name this post "Sunflower Sunday?"

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Steak Saturday

Brain cancer is...

 

...a good reason to have steak twice in one day.

Our first filet mignon was lunch at Hungry Bear.  Right before I took the picture, above, Darrell said, "I love this place!" 

For dinner we had filet mignon ala Summer and Zach.  Yum!

We hope that, whatever you love, you have it twice today.



Friday, April 28, 2017

Fancy, Fly Friday

Brain cancer is...

...so fancy! So fly! 

Andi started the day with a couple meetings regarding our third annual upcoming STEAM summer camp for English language learners.  (The meetings were wonderfully high energy with great promise of future success.  Thanks for asking.)

When I returned home, Darrell let me know that he had planned our Friday lunch date, and he was looking pretty fly. 

He told me, "I felt the need to pair this gray shirt with the complementary patterned over shirt.  Plus the dark gray shorts on bottom?  I am a color genius."  Tell me something I don't know, Big D.

I am a lucky woman.  Happy Fancy, Fly Friday, Team D!

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Thursday? Three Boys at Breakfast.

Brain cancer is...

...reveling in the family days.


We enjoyed breakfast with Gordon in Glendora, as did Beowulf in his efforts to let Mousse rest.

Safari hats fashion choice? On point.



More great news: Mousse had his casts (aka "Camo Uggs," aka "Stanky Leggs") removed. Here's what he thinks about that.
He continues with the blue cone of shame, seen above.  His sutures get removed next week.  But anything is better than yesterday, according to Mousse and his smile.

We hope you find several reasons to smile today too!

(PS...Despite our smiles, we'll be glad when this week is over. The alliteration is assassinating us.)